Well this blog has been abandoned for a long time now. Life somehow seems to overtake us or posting to web sites just loses its appeal or we lose the energy to keep it going.
Some perspective now many years later...
So I have stopped crossdressing since I last posted?
- No I still enjoy dressing up and love the feel of pantyhose and when I can add other femme articles of clothing I just feel complete. I do get a real sense of emotional relief or an escape from reality where my femme form does not have any of the normal real life stresses.
Have I come to accept myself better and not be so scared of being labeled a crossdresser?
- Yes and no. Yes, I have learned to accept that dressing up and being a crossdresser is just part of my basic DNA. I can go thru periods of not wearing or dressing up but it always comes back. Part of me is Jaime and will always be Jaime, there is just no changing that. In that respect I have come to accept that this is part of me and its okay.
- The No part is in reaction to the acceptance that I get from my spouse. She tolerates my pantyhose fetish, maybe partially accepts as she knows I like to crossdress. However, she has never really seen me dressed up in person nor does she have the desire to be with me when I am presenting in femme form. She wants me to keep this part of me hidden, secret and private. So that part still leaves me apprehensive and I am not able to truly share who I am and what I enjoy with most of my real family and friends. I only get to be the whole me when I am online but hiding behind a screen name.
Have my attitudes changed regarding who I am because I like to dress up?
- I would have to admit that what I have tried and what I fantasize about now is drastically different than it was when I was a young man or even a middle aged man. I have noticed that my sexuality continues to expand and grow more liberal with the passing of age. Things that I would not have considered before now seem exciting or enticing to try. Maybe we are like wine in that we get better with age. My femme self has definitely grown and is open to new experiences for sure.
Does any of this even make sense?
- Probably not but its who I am. I am not hurting anyone or breaking any laws, so I might as well enjoy who I have become on this journey in life.
