Acceptance

Well it has been some time since I have posted anything on my blog. Like many, you start with good intentions of maintaining a presence and then you sort of fall offline. Well that is me too. For those who have cursed or called me names, I guess that is deserved for having neglected this blog.

I still love to wear my pantyhose and try to do that often. That is one thing that has not fallen off the radar screen. However, my picture taking has waned and I sometimes wonder if that is all that people really want is just some pictures. Hell I love to see pictures too, but I do not post them here much anymore.

My new bride knew about my love of tights and pantyhose before we were married. We have had some great pantyhose sex together. However after having been married for over 4 years now, the pantyhose sex is less often. Some of that is probably because I had the bachelor pad where there were no kids around so we could be loud and play. Now we still have kids that refuse to grow up and live on their own, which happens to put a crimp in the fun sex. I still love her more each day it's just not as wild as it once was.

In the meantime, she has learned about my crossdressing habit as well. It was an unintentional accident as she found some pictures that were not completely deleted across all devices. At first she thought I was having an affair with another woman. So I had to come clean and just confess that it was me dressed en femme instead. I was afraid she was going to end our relationship, instead she has been great at just accepting me. She will let me wear pantyhose/tights to bed when I want and she will let me dress up as long as I do it in private. In addition, she has no desire to see me dressed up so I am trying to respect her wishes. She does not want our family or friends knowing about my crossdressing. So in some respects she is now hiding my secret like I used to hide from the world.

I love her for being understanding. Of course a crossdresser always wants more. I felt like a great weight was lifted from my shoulders when I was able to finally share my secrets with my best friend. However, I have been trying to avoid the major mistake that we all tend to make once our secret is out and that is trying to push my luck too fast and do too much right away. The trick has been trying to go very slowly with her and reassure her that I am still the man she married. I just have a softer side at times that needs to be expressed.

I still do not believe she would approve of my online presence. I can understand that need or want to keep things private, frankly I have kept this side of my life pretty private for many many years. If she ever does read this blog or find some pictures online, I want her to know that it was a creative outlet at times to get things off my chest. Other times it was a narcissistic need to be seen and create an illusion. Many stories are fantasies and as I have told many, fantasies can be quite fun and not all fantasies have to come true to still be fun. My beautiful wife you are my living fantasy, thank you.

We walk a fine line balancing our public lives with our other private pantyhose / tights / crossdress lives behind closed doors or behind anonymous ids online. To those who face this journey like me, I wish you well. To the spouses of those like me, remember we love you dearly and chose you and want you and love you more each day.

I have tried to change many times and failed over many years. I finally have come to realize and accept that I cannot change who I am. I am a guy and I love tights. I love my wife. I love my family. I love to crossdress at times. I love pantyhose. I love high heels. I love to dress en femme. I love to be a straight, married guy, doing guy things too. I am complicated. I am complex. I am compassionate. I am passionate. I am many things. And I am no longer trying to change or deny who I am. I choose who to share with and I choose when to maintain my privacy. I am who I am.

Who are you?